• My second birth story

    Léon is nearly eight weeks old and finally in bed for the night, as is his big brother. Witching hour (s) is in full effect in this house as Jean and I tag team depending on our children’s needs. So far, Léon has been a little easier than his brother was but still intense as he discovers his body through colic pains and the world through developmental leaps. I’m tired. Exhausted actually. Hormones and fatigue aren’t a great combination. I’m quite high functioning but my emotional regulation leaves a little to be desired. I can find myself oscillating between being content and laughing to tears and frustration remarkably quickly. Despite…

  • My birth story

    Louis is now six weeks old and fast asleep beside me. He makes loud grunting noises as he sleeps, sometimes interspersed by soft squeaking and cooing. He’s lying on his back, tightly swaddled to contain his startle reflex. He frowns and smiles, letting out a little cry occasionally when the wind in his tummy gets too much. Last night he fed nearly every hour. We’ve been told he’s going through his first developmental leap, so he’s needing lots of mummy time and feeds. I found myself gently crying after a feed and toilet trip. I was tired. I had started thinking about my birth after feeling how tender my scars…

  • How we silence sexual abuse

    Sexual abuse has cast a shadow over my family’s life. My mother was abused as a child by her step father, the man I grew up knowing as my grandfather. My cousin was also abused by him (repeatedly, for years). Friends I went to school with were abused by him. Children I met when I was with my grandmother while she babysat them were abused by him. In fact, I have no idea how many children my grandfather has abused over his lifetime but I suspect the numbers are huge since he is still alive and in his 90s. I am grateful that I was never abused but what has happened around me has still affected…

  • Baby time: Changing roles for a month

    I am yet to experience the joys of motherhood but I regularly find myself reading about natural parenting and birthing. I’m not sure why but it seems to fit with my quest to ‘make sense of things’ so I roll with it. My friend’s frequent flyer points recently delivered me to their family in Perth, Australia, where I spent a month as part of their growing family – mum, dad, 2 year old Nova and 6 week old Lumen. Before arriving I wondered… how would I cope? After all, reading and doing is very different. My concerns dissipated quickly. Every morning I was woken by Nova, a beautiful little girl, whose…

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